Last Weekend's "Fun" with the Children

Dear Marianne,

Saturday

Dropped Anna at RUNAROUND for Saskia’s 5^th Birthday Party. One and a half hours of violent running around and jumping on soft things, going down slides and arguing with friends, followed by half an hour of chicken nuggets and e numbers.

Whilst she was there went with “the lads” (all 4) to pub. Bravely sat outside in cold wind counting seconds until the sun appeared from behind dark black clouds.

Play area wet and broken, but boys enjoyed it – mike was thrilled to be out with big brovers Archie leading him over dangerous precipices, Stan teaching the correct rules of contact 4 on the life size model in the beer garden. Mike knelt on bird poo – so I decided he would get bird flu and we would all die – but soon recovered my senses when I realised that, what with the ice caps and all - the world would end before then any way.

After drinking our beers, coke and eating peanuts off a slightly stained outdoor table we went to the village butchers – family run and organic – bought stuff and five very flaky (not emotionally speaking) warm sausage rolls – yum.

Picked up a tired and pink Anna – with pink balloon, Easter egg and book in tow. This is Anna's 6th party invite this summer – I only remember going to two parties before I was fifteen and you got jelly and sandwiches and scared by “the uncle” and, oh, sandwiches.

Came home , made tea for Mike. His favourite at the moment is poo sandwiches (marmite actually, but whatever makes him eat!) Played with fireman Sam and tom the helicopter pilot – no, not a porno fantasy fulfilled – Mike’s birthday presents.

Food and bed for Anna and “TV bollocks”, as Craig calls anything not drama or news or documentary, with the big boyz until I began to fall asleep and sent them – wide awake – to bed.

Went to bed.

Sunday

We piled children on top of each other in the car and drove to place of fun in the country.

Animals – watch out for diseases. Huge slides – watch out! Trampolines – no somersaulting – lots of kids somersaulting. Soft play areas for small children – more RUNAROUND madness.

After fun we had COLA drinks and TEA FLAVOURED water. The kids loved it – I felt ill with worry. Ice –creams and home – Mike fell asleep sideways and had ¾ of the car seats.

There were lots of questions about melting ice caps which I felt unable to answer properly due to ignorance and fear. Tried changing subject matter to dirty travelling songs.

Home – knackered – Anna and Michael put us to bed…

Monday (today)

Dragged body out of bed and went to friend’s house with Anna and Mike for fun – screaming, sweets, messing up someone else’s house – lovely.

Archie and Stan gutted to discover that my suggestion for morning at swimming pool for them has been overruled by father’s suggestion that they do homework.

Stan buckles down to "Christians and other Religions" and Archie works on Greek Gods – removed all sharp objects in case either of them took me up on my other suggestion that it would be more interesting and educational for them to poke their eyes out with sharp sticks.

Back for lunch – nobody hungry. Which means they will all be hungry at 3ish – just as I take Anna to the Town Hall to see HI-5 - . You know “Hi -5 in the air, let’s do it together – yeah!!” I think I may need the sharp sticks.

Love Rx