i'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony

Dear Marianne,

I am considering going back to College to learn something about journalism and here is my first article entitled: A New Foreign Policy for The West. Constructive criticism will be much appreciated, although you may find it hard to find fault, except in some cases with the grammar.
A New Foreign Policy for The West
Thank goodness for North Korea. No other country puts on a proper patriotic show anymore, with lots of dancing soldiers, twirling their guns, committed and obedient crowds in huge arenas spelling out the words of the Dear Leader: KIL AL MEN which then metamorphoses into a picture of their national flag, if you can't be impressed by that then you have no soul.
We used to rely on the Soviet Union to do this sort of thing, you must remember Misha the Bear, mascot of the Moscow Olympics. The Soviets also supplied the great entertainment that is the military march past with bombs and tanks and excellent manic marching, although for really mad marching the North Koreans are the experts. But, the Ruskies went all soft on us and May Day just isn't what it used to be. So we have to rely on the madness of Kil Al Men and his company of players, for the fifties looking footage of fun at a military parade and after nuclear bomb blast party.

Now, I know the bomb is scary and everything, but I think it might be more useful to focus on the fact that the Dear Leader is deliberately starving to death the people of North Korea, and I think that knowing this The West should jolly well send in lots of their own gun twirling soldiers to sort it out; but apparently that's when this nuclear bomb thing works for the mad boy of North Korea, because the mad boy of the USA is scared even though he has his own much more pretty bomb. I think then that If the Western powers can't quite stomach North Korea, how about showing a bit of bottle in Darfur, Zimbawbwe, The Congo and well lots of other places that nobody cares about.

My extensive research in this area therefore leads me to the suppose that if you've got oil in your back garden you will probably get a visit from the gun twirlers of the West, but if your main export is carrots don't hold your breath. Anyway I don't want to put a downer on it all, I know at least one small boy from Africa who will be eating strange vegetarian food tonight, in a great big house in the English countryside. If you are rich and famous enough you really can buy babies and children, I'm sorry to contradict the Beatles, but money can buy you love.

So, in conclusion, my new foreign policy initiative for The West is that we should make enough rich and famous people, who can then go and buy all the starving children from the other bits of the world that are quite shabby, they can then bring them up in The West on a staple diet of designer clothes and ponies. I imagine that my argument may find those who counter with the suggestion that Western countries have enough money to save us all from starvation, but Governments need that money for the gun twirlers and the nuclear bombs without which, I think you'll find the world would be a very dangerous place.

Note: [The term The West is used as at all times to mean The Wild West]

Rx