'Til we have built Jerusalem

OK the big day – no not the wedding, the voting. It is worth pausing to think that on this day, at least 35% of those with the vote in this country wont bother to vote; probably the most important statistic so far in the campaign.

I was going to vote Scottish National Party, because I agree with so much of what they say, but apparently they have no one standing in West Kent. I was going to vote ‘intelligently’ as Peter Hain had asked me to but I couldn’t find an intelligent party on the ballot form either. Tragically for this country the BNP were on the ballot, but I only agree with one of their policies, that is to ‘bring our boys home!” innit – but what with all the racism and small minded hatred of the rest of their rhetoric it didn’t balance out well, a bit like voting for Hitler because he made the trains run on time.

Now when I lived in London I voted Labour from the ages of 18 to 32 and only once in that time did I see a Labour victory, and that of course was not real Labour but New Labour – like Labour but without any of the, well, policies, philosophy, decency….Anyway, when New Labour swept to power in 1997 it was quite a shock for our local Labour candidate, because he, like many others was just supposed to be a name on a ballot paper – but there he stood bleary eyed in the early hours of that Friday morning as MP for Finchley. But this is just to illustrate that I have, once, felt like my vote mattered.

Things out here in Tunbridge Wells are much clearer, I know my vote is worthless, here blue is the colour and keeping it is the game – you only have to take a five minute drive around this well heeled town to place it firmly in its natural context the Conservative party. The only reason that the Royal Wells is aware of a recession at all is that Fenwick and Hoopers have both had sales this year! The majority for the Conservative MP is 10,000 and Labour comes in third behind the Liberal Democrats. So for me, today, I knew that unless every other Labour voter in this neck of the woods voted tactically (i.e. for the Liberal Democrats) then my vote was essentially pointless. This is somewhat a disheartening realisation to come to, given that about 100 years ago women were throwing themselves under horses and starving themselves to near death, to get for me the opportunity to vote at all.

If the election was won on size and number of posters, UKIP would have the win in the bag round here. Their signs are massive and pink and argue for keeping the pound, which, don’t tell them, we still have. And have UKIP and their new kind of madness, replaced all the Monster Raving Loony types,where have all the Yogic Flying candidates gone? These people are a vital part of the democratic process for goodness sake.

As I entered the United Reformed (why did it need reforming?) Church Hall, to put my cross on the form, I was still debating whether to vote Labour or Liberal Democrat. I was overcome in the booth itself with a sudden and violent urge to vote UKIP just for the hell of it. However, I eventually placed a cross next to Gary Heather (Labour), a nice young man from Islington (yes, really). It was partly muscle memory that led my hand to that box and partly the knowledge that before Gordon Brown became known (mostly thanks to the media and Blairites) as the demonic, one eyed Scottish, can’t smile properly, should have been voted in, Prime Minister, he was a chancellor whose tax credits, the EMA and various other bits and pieces of money have helped to keep my family and small business afloat for the last eight years. Truthfully, without it we would be living with my parents and out of options.

So there you go, I voted. I wish I felt better about doing it – but I know that it was the lesser of two evils in the end; not the kind of thing you should really be looking for in a government. Anyway, if the rest of Europe goes the same way as Greece,then it won’t matter who is in government because it will be the riot police who will be making most of the important policy decisions.