Jesus + Wedding Bells

Dear Marianne,

I know this is summer because i am sneezing like a bastard, I have swollen eyes, its too hot for people over 25 and our neighbours are having a bar b que or is it bbq, barbed cue, barbie que? Never knew how to spell it, which probably is an indication to us northern europeans that we shouldn’t bother. Our back yard – or garden as our house spec on our estate agents web site - says – is engulfed in lighter fuelled smoke, I look forward to popping over later for some food poisoning and knocker freezing mind numbing conversation.

I remember travelling to south london one time, (from north of the river mind - and with children by the way), after watching the dark clouds turn to rain we guests retreated inside a very small kitchen to watch our host burn the food with one hand and gamely fight the wind and rain with an umbrella in his other. His name was (and is) Howard and he does a fantastic impression of a pig being killed when he is very very drunk.

Anna has just asked me who made God – thank you St. James. I do remember Becky becoming devout when she was eight and she had to fight off atheist attacks from me, craig, stan, and even archie aged three (“shut up becky poo poo bum”), but at least it wasn’t school induced.

Apparently Mrs Ash of Daisy Class, not Lilac Class which is Anna’s, but Izzy’s class. Izzy is coming to the party on Friday and she is the elder sister of Milly and Felix, but her mum don’t speak to me any more because I said I thought the 11 plus system was unfair, but no but yeah... are you keeping up? Anyway, Mrs Ash told her that the Lord made us, and the chicken and egg conundrum that this threw up had been on Anna's mind all day. Anyway she says she is a believer, and what am I to do? I can’t compete with Mrs Ash let alone her Class teacher Mrs Grace – you can’t compete with Mrs Grace from Lilac Class.

We went to Paul and Jan’s wedding on Saturday, which ironically, nearly made me a believer. The sun shone all day, it was held in a beautiful chocolate box village in a wonderful church, surrounded by higgeldy piggeldy medieval houses, the bells rang out – people wore white and I didn’t fall over in my high heels, although I did sink into the mud as I backed away from the oncoming happy couple. It was just me and Craig – our wonderful friends had Anna and Mike all day and dropped and picked us up from the wedding – so we owe them.

We cadged a lift from the Church to the reception with a woman who recognised me because “you look so much like your Mum”. The light banter about Paul and Jan’s lucky chance to meet and find true love the second time around, took a bit of a battering for the three very long miles of country road when the mystery Woman delivered her life story. This went along the lines, he left me for a twenty one year old and now I have debt and no life and the worlds full of lucky bastards... It was quite tricky to know what to say – Craig opted for staring out of the window really hard, I went for the “well I hope you...and if... but no... absolutely..oh dear yes, yes I know. “

We kind of avoided her when we got to the Barn.

We had lovely food, wine, wine, food and wine and cried a lot, and by the time mum and dad turned up for the evening do I was quite merry. I managed not to offend anyone and when our mate came to pick us up I loved the world. When we got home we talked at our friends and I ate – apparently- an old chip shop pasty and pickled egg. That's what I call heaven.

Love Rx