i like driving in my car

Dear Marianne,

When Anna was three and a half I took her and the three older children to see Shrek 2 at the Odeon. Shrek 2 is a great film, I know, because I have watched it on DVD. Unfortunately I didn't get to watch it at the cinema because, as I’d predicted to Craig half an hour before we sat down to watch, Anna wouldn’t sit through it.
Before the film had begun I had taken her to the toilet twice, by the time the honeymoon sequence at the beginning was over she was sitting on my lap and as Shrek, Fiona and Donkey were on their way to Far Far Away Land I was in the foyer with her wondering how I would kill a couple of hours without spending another fourteen pounds on sweets.

I haven’t fancied a trip to the cinema with Anna since then. But this weekend I took her to see CARS, and as everyone had warned me, it was shite. But she did stay in her seat, mostly. It was a last minute decision to go and she was really there just to sit next to her cousin Sam, who she loves, in fact she would have been just as happy watching his face for two hours whilst eating half a ton of popcorn and three litres of coke.

We were supposed to go to one of those family fun days I have mentioned. My sister, her husband and their son Sam were staying and we were going to go en masse with our three (the boys are on holiday with their mum in Italy) to the free fun day which seemed just the ticket, until the rain came down. Now you know I don’t like rain, and a fun day in the rain would have tipped me over the edge.

So the gang dispersed, husbands and smallest went around the shopping centre and then to a wet park, the oldest hung out at home with her friend and the two five year olds went with Mothers to see CARS. I can’t tell you about the film because there is nothing to tell. Little Anna and Sam did not mention anything about it after we left the cinema, big Anna (my sister) said “I give that a four” as we got in the car, where conversation quickly turned to the trailers we were shown for what seemed much funnier films. I would have been happy to have gone after the adverts to be honest, and I’m not sure the children would have noticed. The adverts were funnier, cleverer, better to look at and managed to provide a more interesting story line in two minutes than CARS did in one and a half, or was it seven, hours.

Mind you, we weren't just there for the film, its the whole experience isn't it? I know it's not like the old days when we went to the "pictures", where we all sat in the stalls and stared at the back of each other's heads, or watched blue plumes of cigarette smoke swirling around us, and ate our posh (in tubs with spoons) ice-cream bought from the lady at the front with the torch and high heels, as the lights really went out and the high red velvet curtains swished majestically aside to reveal the screen. Then a silence fell upon (what felt like) the entire population of Crawley, as we sat transfixed by: da daa da daa da daaa da da da, da daa da daa da daaaaaa, da!

But, I enjoy the modern version too. The swirly plush carpets, the luminous sweets, the small (huge), medium (too huge for my lap) and large (can't see the screen)cartons of popcorn and fizzy drinks, the noise of surround sound, the luxury seats with cup holder, the spilled popcorn on the steps (do they pay someone to throw popcorn on the floor before each film is show?) and the anticipation.

The thing to remember though, is to leave before CARS comes on.

Rx